Triangle Men's Center

2010-05-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

Hello Gents,
Here are a couple blogs you may want to check out.
John Lee of "Flying Boy" and "When Bubba Met Buddha" fame, has started a new blog at http://www.openingtheheartnow.blogspot.com/

There is another blog called "Men and the Goddess" at http://menandthegoddess.com/
He does an interesting review of a book by Dr. Joseph Gelfer: Numen, Old Men: Contemporary Masculine Spiritualities and the Problem of Patriarchy.
The two men then have an interesting conversation via the comments to the blog.

Enjoy

2009-11-10T10:27:00.000-08:00

What an amazing weekend at the 16th annual Mentone Mens’ Gathering.
We discussed many things. One issue that came up numerous times is elegant endings as this was the last Mentone conference.

John Lee did a great job helping us feel instead of just think during the weekend. John’s opinion is that movement creates emotion. We did a few different exercises to help us move and feel.

Doug Von Koss was amazing as usual leading us in song. Singing with a group, feeling the vibration is causes, hollering the words, has always been a great joy of mine. A simple chant of “we will remember” helped me to get out of my head and into my heart with my feelings about this change at Mentone and with Robert Bly.

Jeffery Duvall has a way of creating a safe container that is rare. My thanks to him for helping us to move in the direction we needed even if that was not comfortable.

Robert Bly is such a force in this world. He read many new pieces that were striking. Something seemed different about many of them. It is difficult to explain. There was a plainness, bluntness, a sense of strength. He was funny as usual. He made comments about tits, he was a smart ass with John, a couple times he said he didn’t believe something he had written.

Here is something I wrote inspired by the weekend.

Movement Creates Emotion

Squeeze my fingers and see if
the snaggle toothed demon will come out to play.
Or perhaps the time has arrived for your angel
to step from the shadow of shame
and bless you.
Stand up, take the arm of a man
you do not know and walk in the sunshine.
The piercing siren of fear will only
Grow quiet in the face of courage.
What passes between mens’ arms
could make it all the way to
the molten place at the core.
Then there will be no end to the tears.

2009-11-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

Hello Gents,
It has been some time since we have had a new posting.

The organizing work for the 15th annual NC Spring Mens Gathering has started and we are very excited that this event continues. We will be gathering again in April of 2010 in Eflin NC.

Next week, John Lee will be hosting the Mentone Men’s conference in Menton AL. I will be attending. John says that it may be the last year for this conference. It is sad to think that such a wonderful event will stop but as Dr. Seuss said, “smile because it happened, don’t cry because it is over.”

Finally, under the category of “In the News”, I saw today that there is a new book being released regarding men. Here is a link http://www.projo.com/books/content/artsun-goodmen_11-01-09_DMG60RP_v34.12ea666.html.
“The Good Men Project,” a collection of stories by men, for men, about men.
Here is quote from Bryan Rourke, the author of the article.

“Sometimes when men share their feelings they’re regarded with variations of ” weakness. People will say, ‘You (insert epithet here).’
Horwitz shared anyway. And the book did get published, eventually.
“It was a hard sell,” says James Houghton, one of book’s three editors. “That was the message that publishers made very clear very early.”
So organizers of the book organized themselves into the Good Men Foundation, and published the paperback ($14.99) and a companion DVD ($14.99) themselves, with an official release date of Nov. 15.

The loss of a dear friend

2009-08-03T08:34:00.000-07:00

We received a note this morning about the passing of a dear friend from the NC Spring Gathering.

Michael (“Mustard Man”) Porter, 71-year-old, after enduring months of agony with metastatic bone cancer, died tonight of a pulmonary thrombosis in the Farmington (CT) hospital.

He had many great memories of his times with us at the Gatherings, and he made many friends there.

Michael's brothers are on the road now going to CT. We wish them a safe and speedy trip. For those of us who have driven in Richmond and DC you know that they could use some positive thoughts.

Michael really enjoyed life. He was easy to smile and loved hearing and telling a good joke. I remember a few years back there were a number of us down at the pond during the Gathering. We started sharing jokes and Michael was having a great time. Michael and all his brothers have a sense of self confidence and self deprication that I admire.

I was thinking of sharing a poem that shed some mystic light on death and then I realized that just didn't feel right for Michael. So here is one that I enjoy by William Stafford. The Porter brothers often shared family stories and this is a family story that makes me smile.

A Family Turn

All her kamikaze friends admired my aunt,
their leader, charmed in vinegar,
a woman who could blaze with such white blasts
as Lawrence's that lit Arabia.
Her mean opinions bent her hatpins.

We'd take a ride in her old car
that ripped like Sherman through society:
Main Street's oases sheltered no one
when she pulled up at Thirty-first
and whirled that Ford for another charge.

We swept headlines from under rugs, names
all over town, which I learned her way, by heart,
and blazed with love that burns because it's real.
With a turn that's our family's own,
she'd say, "Our town is not the same" -

Pause - "And it's never been."

My thoughts are with the Porter family.

(posted by ethan)

Mentone registration is open

2009-07-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

Hello Gents,
The details for the 2009 Mentone Mens' Gathering have been posted on their web page www.mentonemen.com. The dates are November 6 - 9 2009.
I have attended this event in the past and it is a wonderful time. Most the time is spent in a panel format with the speakers discussing issues with the whole group.
The drive from the Triangle area is a pleasure in itself. Mentone is a small town in northern Alabama.

Have a wonderful summer.

(Posted by Ethan)

2009-07-06T10:25:00.000-07:00

I am still reading the book about passivity. I am struggling to find the right words to describe it. This morning I came by a poem by Bill Stafford that hits on this issue of passivity. In particular the idea that we become attached to certain emotional responses to life that we experienced as a child. These responses may not serve us and they may hide the truth and power that resides within us, yet we remain attached to these responses.

Turn Over Your Hand
Those lines on your hand, they can be read
for a hidden part of your life that only
those links can say – nobody’s voice can
find so tiny a message as comes
across your hand. Forbidden to complain,
you have tried to be like somebody else,
and only this fine record you examine
sometimes like this can remember where
you were going before that long
silent evasion that your life became.

If you are forbidden to complain then how are those feelings going to come out?
“silent evasion” – that sure rings true. I’ll just keep my mouth shut and move along.

Posted by Ethan

John Lee

2009-07-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

Greetings Blog readers,
I wanted to let you know what our friend John Lee is up to these days. He is doing a number of workshops and weekend retreats this year. Here is a link to his web site - http://www.flyingboy.com/

John Lee has been doing workshops of late about passivity. This is a curious topic. I am currently reading a book by Peter Michaelson, The Phantom of the Psyche – Freeing Ourself From Inner Passivity. I will write more about it later after it makes more sense to me.

Just to highlight some of John’s work –
He will be at the Unity church in Greensboro the weekend of July 11 and 12.

Friday, July 10, 2009, 7 - 9:30 p.m.
More Intimacy, Passion and Communication Whether you are single, married, divorced, gay or straight, man or woman you can acquire information, insights and tools to help you become the person you always wanted to be in relationships. You can learn to pay attention to your lover's longings in ways not taught to most of us until now.

Saturday, July 11, 2009, 8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m.
A day long workshop for men that will focus on enhancing and increasing the ability to identify feelings and express all emotions appropriately and at the same time be able to be attentive to the feelings and emotions others are expressing.

John has also written his first piece of fiction.
When the Buddha Met Bubba

This is the heart-warming story of Billy Bob (Bubba) Coker, a redneck who reached rock bottom, until a freak head injury results in the appearance of his own personal Buddha. From that moment forward, Bubba is led on a humorous journey of introspection through the backwoods of the deep South and through his own flawed preconceptions and relationships.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Independence Day weekend.
Ethan

W. S. Merwin

2009-07-01T12:15:00.000-07:00

Last week on Bill Moyer’s Journal on PBS he interviewed the Pulitzer Prize winning poet W. S. Merwin. I admit I have never heard of him before. It was a joy listening to him.
He spoke of the power of poetry and what it has to offer to us. Of the many topics, they spoke about the magic of Shakespeare.

He talked about a poem ‘working’. He speaks about the idea that when a poem works then there are no words that can be changed. This caught me because words that don’t work often jump out at me in my own work. Not until I change that word am I happy with the line.

He talks about loss, grief and lament. They discuss a poem about a father and his grown son visiting. The father thinks that the son wants to leave and even though the son does not need to leave, he does. He laments that decision.

Here is one piece that he read on the show. The formatting is mine.

Youth
Through all of youth I was looking for you
Without knowing what I was looking for
Or what to call you
I don’t think I even knew I was looking
Would I have known you when I saw you as I did
Time after time when you appeared to me
As you did
Naked, offering yourself entirely at that moment
And you let me breath you, touch you, taste you,
Knowing no more than I did
And only when I began to think of losing you
Did I recognize you
When you were already part memory
Part distance
Remaining mine in the ways that I learned to miss you
From what we can not hold the stars are made

You can get Bill Moyer's show on podcast, either video or audio. That is how I listen to it since his show is on too late for me.

posted by Ethan

Drum Building Workshop (6-20-09)

2009-06-01T05:21:00.000-07:00

Honey in the Heart Drum Company
Date: June 20 - 21, 2009
Raleigh, NC
Drum Building Workshop

Join Tom Harris for an exciting weekend of drum building. During this two day workshop, participants will be introduced to the joy of building a West African drum. All tools and materials are provided. Choose one of the following drums to build:

Ashiko - this Nigerian hand drum is a tapered cylinder with a goat skin across the large end. Dimensions are 12'” x 7" x 26". The drum shell is made from 18 wooden staves. The head is mounted using the Mali weave.

Dun Dun or Sangban - These Malinke drums form the bottom of the djembe ensemble. They are built Guinea style - Dun Duns are 15"x27", and Sangbans are 12"x22". They are constructed of 27 and 21 wooden staves, respectively. They have thick West African cow skins for heads and are played with a stick.

Djembe - The shells for this Malinke drum are from the Ivory Coast. Drum shells are imported, and participants re-finish them and mount the heads on themselves. New rings, rope and goat skins are provided.

This weekend workshop is intense and joyful. While Tom is able to share the experience and skill he has acquired from building over 1000 drums since 1996, each person is faced with a significant challenge to bring their first drum to completion. Most people finish the weekend feeling a deep sense of satisfaction while also feeling like they have finished the equivalent of a marathon. It is also a strong bonding experience for the participants who have shared this process.

Saturday

9:00 AM - 12:00 PM - Oil and wax. Wrap rings with fabric, tie cradle loops around rings.

1 PM – 4:00 PM Lace on skins, pre-tighten skins and level rings, shave heads.

Sunday

9:00 AM - 12:00 PM Pull vertical ropes tight, tie diamonds to tune the drum, re-shave head, add handle and strap.

Drum Order Form

Workshop Date: _ Date: June 20-21,2009

Name________________________________________________________

Address______________________________________________________

Phone_______________________ Email____________________

Drum Type (except for djembe, indicate paduk (bright orange), purple heart, bloodwood, cherry or black walnut for wood)

Wood Type

Ashiko ________ $240 _____________

Super Dununba $475 _____________ (18”x36”)

Dununba _______ $395 _____________ (15 1/2” x27”)

Sangban _______ $375 _____________

Kenkini_________ $350 _____________

Djembe _______ $340

Decorative Metal Work $75 ________

Guinea Wrap (red/green/gold) $75 ______

For more information, contact:

Tom Harris
5014 Lakemont Drive
Douglasville, GA 30135
cell – 770-843-3556
email tomharris57@comcast.net

Joshua Project Rites of Passage Summer 2009

2009-05-31T21:50:00.000-07:00

Any men interested in mentoring younger ones into manhood encouraged to consider the following:

2009 Rites-of-Passage Camp

for Young Men (13-19)

June 28 - July 5

Welcoming Weekend

for Adult Men

July 3 - 5

Camp Grier, near Old Fort, NC

Joshua Project

This camp is designed especially to help usher boys toward a mature and generous manhood, with the support of a community of soulful men (including fathers and male relatives) interested in offering a meaningful initiatory experience for young men.

One week in a beautiful, natural setting with rustic accommodations

Experiential learning about the tenets of mature manhood, community councils, survival skills, group-designed rituals, relationship skill-building, arts/crafts, music AND including a 24-hour solo Vision Fast

Not your typical summer camp, but rather an experience for young men to intentionally step toward an authentic sense of themselves as men-in-the making

Costs: $650./young man ($600. if reg by 6/1)

Partial scholarships available, please inquire

$150./adult men (for weekend)

Registration of Young men must be before June 14,

as preparations are necessary (Deposit of $125)

Adult men may register until June 27th (Deposit of $75).

Deposit to: The Joshua Project 3214 Stoneybrook Rd. Charlotte, NC 28205

Call 704-342-3456 (Philip Loydpierson, Director) for information

or visit: www.Joshua-Project.us.

Mission Statement: The Joshua Project is dedicated to providing meaningful rites-of-passage experiences for young men moving into manhood, to exploring the meaning of mature masculinity with men and boys, and to providing a vehicle to encourage adult-youth mentoring relationships. While the Joshua Project forwards no particular religion or creed, it is dedicated to the encouragement of spiritual practices that inform a man's authentic nature.

2009-03-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

Hello Gents,
I hope everyone is having a wonderful Spring.

Below is some information about workshops being done by John Lee the author of Flying Boy. I have attended a mens' weekend with John as one of the leaders. He does an excellent job as the leader of workshops. I hope some of you will consider attending one of these workshops. The workshops are at a place called Hawkwind in northern Alabama.
I hope to attend the one in July and possibly October.
If the links below don't work then you can go to johnleebooks.com.

(posted by Ethan)

New Workshops for Men from John Lee
If you can't view html emails, click here.
Men's Weekends at Hawkwind
with John Lee, Tarwater and Others
PLEASE NOTE THERE WILL BE 3 MEN'S WEEKENDS AT HAWKWIND IN 2009:
March 27-29 • July 24-26 • October 2-4
Read full brochure
Join John Lee for a series of three unforgettable men’s only workshops at Hawkwind.
Now you can experience John’s work in the beautiful and natural small group setting that Hawkwind offers. Take a deeper journey into the wounds, wonder, anger, grief and joy that comes from being a healthy man in the 21st Century.
MARCH 27-29, 2009
Beginning or Continuing the Journey Inward
Exploring and explaining the father-son and mother-son relationships and how they impact the development of all our relationships, our masculinity, careers and the way we give love (or don’t) and receive love (or don’t) to the degree we long for.
A deeper understanding of the male psyche and soul as it relates to the way we were fathered or not
What shut men down in the first place
What it takes to open back up.
Register Now
JULY 24-26, 2009
Men and their Struggle with Intimacy
Men and their held in, repressed, bottled up or explosive anger can have very negative consequences if not expressed appropriately on a regular basis. Unexpressed anger turns into rage and chronic emotional tension which robs us of valuable energy, vitality, and health, and thus can lead to us not only hurting ourselves, but also those we love or work with.
This is a safe, supportive, non-shaming setting to do anger work and grief work (they go hand-in-hand), whether it is dealing with loss, death, divorce, disease or childhood trauma. Grieving is a key to healing.
Register Now
OCTOBER 2-4, 2009
Boys to Men to Elders: Understanding Emotional Regression & Passivity
This weekend we will explore and expand the term “regression”—the best kept secret in Psychology and Recovery and passivity—the compulsion to be attached to not having the things we say we really want and desire which keeps men living a half-lived life, half in and half out of relationships and not being able to commit to their own creativity.
During this down-to-earth, fast-paced workshop you will:
Learn why we regress and what to do about itIdentify the red flags of regression
Explore the five things that will grow you or your client back up every time
Examine the causes and pre-conditions for regression
Experience the grace in regression
Register or Get More Info Now

2008-10-27T13:19:00.000-07:00

Hello Gentlemen,
In memory of our friend Harold Earl Myers I am posting the Rumi poem below. Harold has attended the Spring Gathering for past few years. He died last week.
His gentle soul will be missed.

For safekeeping, gold is hidden in a desolate place, where
no one ever goes, not

in a familiar, eary-to-get-to spot. The proverb goes, Joy
lives concealed in grief.

The mind puzzles with this, but that strong beast, the soul, a
lively animal, will break

such a tether. Love burns away difficulties, as daylight does
night phantoms. Look for

the answer inside your question. Cornered in the edgeless
region of love, you'll

see the opening that leads neither east nor west, nor any
direction. You're a mountain

searching for its echo! Whenever you hurt, you say, Lord
God! The answer lives in that

which bends you low and makes you cry out. Pain and the threat
of death, for instance, do this.

They make you clear. When you're gone, you lose purpose. You
wonder what to do, where

to go. This is because you're uneven in your opening:
sometimes closed and unreachable,

sometimes with your shirt torn with longing. Your discursive
intellect dominates for a

time; then the universal, beyond-time intelligence comes. Sell
your questioning talents, my

son; buy bewildering surrender. Live simply and helpfully
in that. Don't worry about

the University of Bukhara with its prestigious curriculum.

(post by Ethan)

The Joshua Project Fall Camp 2008

2008-09-06T08:16:00.000-07:00

Men and Creative Imagination
The Joshua Project
Fall Camp
St. John's River Valley Camp
October 3-5, 2008

"What exists was only once imagined." William Blake

If the problems of life are to be solved, the solutions must first be imagined. The death of creative imagination is the harbinger of death in all areas. But when a man can tap this enormous resource, he himself becomes the solution. For a man (or young man) to step into his purpose, to be able to offer his gifts to the community, he must first ride the wild uncertainty implicit in the powers of Imagining.

You are invited to gather with men and young men (ages 13 and up) - to share a warm fire in the cool mountains, to pool our collective resources to create meaningful ritual that brings us together within the community of men, to share stories or a song,
and to imagine a better world for our sons.

$150./adult man $75./young man (ages 13-25)
Healthy meals and rustic cabin lodging provided.

Must register by September 26
Send deposit (half fee) postmarked by September 26 (please include email address or phone number) to:
The Joshua Project 3214 Stoneybrook Rd Charlotte, NC 28205
Directions sent upon registration
Info @ 704-342-3456 or ploydpierson @carolina.rr.com Also visit website: www.Joshua-Project.us

Mission Statement
The Joshua Project is dedicated to providing meaningful rites-of-passage experiences for young men moving into manhood, to exploring the meaning of mature masculinity with men and boys, and to providing a vehicle to encourage adult-youth mentoring relationships. While the Joshua Project forwards no particular religion or creed, it is dedicated to the encouragement of spiritual practices that inform a man's own authentic nature.

Posted by John A.

John Lee's new book

2008-08-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

Hello Gents,
You may have been wondering, as I have, will we ever see another book to add to the spicy mix of mytho-poetic men’s books. Well, I am happy to report the answer is “Yes.” However, it may not be quite what you expected. John Lee, author of Flying Boy, Growing Yourself Back Up and many more, has released his first piece of fiction. So far it has just been released on-line. He is waiting for the publishers to line up at his door to fight over who gets the rights to the book.

Here is the author’s description:
It is about spiritual growth and faith. Simultaneously it is a romp through my home state of Alabama, which is known here in the South to be “The Heart of Dixie.” When The Buddha Met Bubba is a whimsical, fantasy that deals with the integrity and surrender that comes when a likeable redneck (Bubba) meets his magical mentor, Pu Tai (one of the many names for The Buddha), as they set off on an unusual journey. It has at its center a love story between a man and a woman and the devotion of a beautiful gay couple. Throw in the struggle to heal a father-son wound, old South prejudice and bigotry, then add a little humor and true Buddhist/Christian compassion and you end up with a quirky novel that is not only different but just plain fun.

I would add that the book contains a healthy dose of knowledge John learned from his work with AA and Al-anon.

Like all good rites of passage myths, this story takes the main character on a journey into the unknown marked with dangers that must be dealt with. I have not completed the book, but my guess is that the classic myth will end with the main character returning to his homeland where he will share the knowledge he has gained.

You can read the entire book free at:
http://dixiehartwell.com/pdfs/When%20The%20Buddha%20Met%20Bubba_Final.pdf

A comment of any type or length would go a long way to boosting the delicate ego of this blogger.
Ethan

Bo Taylor - Gang Peace activist in LA

2008-08-15T07:36:00.000-07:00

I wanted to take a few moments to pay respect to a man who sincerely tried to make a difference in the lives of young men trapped in a world of violence.

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Darren "Bo" Taylor, an activist who brokered a truce between warring inner-city gangs after the 1992 Los Angeles riots, has died. He was 42.
Mr. Taylor died of cancer Monday in San Diego, his sister, Adrienne Galloway, said Wednesday.
Mr. Taylor was a member of the Crips street gang as a teenager. He joined the Navy and was honorably discharged before returning to gangs. He said he finally turned away from the thug life after being repeatedly shot at while dealing drugs.
He became a gang peace activist, respected by gangsters for his street credibility and by officials for his success.
He founded UNITY One after the 1992 riots. The group worked to prevent gang violence through intervention and education. One program involved teaching life management skills to thousands of county jail inmates.
Five years ago, Mr. Taylor worked with gang leaders to help quell a series of violent jail brawls between black and Hispanic inmates.
"Bo knew how to change lives for the better. He did it very well," Sheriff Lee Baca said Tuesday.
Mr. Taylor considered gang members to be disenfranchised youth, he told National Public Radio last year.
"They don't really have all the tools to make the right decisions that's necessary in today's society, and they don't fully understand the system," he said.
Civil rights attorney Connie Rice said Mr. Taylor was extraordinary.
"You don't find many in the gang-intervention world who can be effective in the street, effective in the courtroom, effective at City Hall and effective in the prisons," Rice said. "He could calm everyone down and make us work together."
On April 15, 2007, NPR’s All Things Considered had this report:
April 5, 2007 · In Los Angeles, a former gang member has taken to the airwaves with a radio show that's become a listening post for some of the city's most troubled, gang-plagued neighborhoods. For many, the program has become something resembling 'community therapy' over the airwaves.
Bo Taylor, at 41 bald and tattooed, works as a gang interventionist, motivating young people to get out of trouble through the organization he founded, Unity One. With his new radio show, he invites folks in the community to give him a ring.
Taylor asks God to bless the mike, then lays down a few ground rules, like no cursing, and no hogging the line. He gives a shout out to his friends — like Rocky, Tick, Psyche, Dashe, Tracy, and others. Taylor turns it over to his callers, saying they don't have to give their full names.
Many nights, the talk revolves around gang violence in their neighborhoods.
His work will continue in many forms. Michael Meade is still working in the LA area with youth to help them find a voice in writing. You can learn more about his work at http://www.mosaicvoices.org/.

Funny how the circle turns around
First you’re up and then you’re down again.
Though the circle takes what it may give
Each time around it makes it live again.
Funny how the circle is a wheel
And it can steal someone who is a friend.
Funny how the circle takes you flying
And if it’s right it brings it back again.
Though you always look for what you know
Each time around there is something new again.
- “Full Circle”, The Byrds

[This post was written by Ethan]

On the Road Into the Wild: Jack Kerouac (1922-1969) and Christopher McCandless (1968-1922)

2008-07-23T11:54:00.000-07:00

On the Road Into the Wild: Jack Kerouac (1922-1969) and Christopher McCandless (1968-1922)

11/14/07

I heard recently on the radio that this fall was the fiftieth anniversary of the publication of On the Road, the most famous of Jack Kerouac’s novels. This book supposedly defined what came to be known as the Beat Generation, and for the rest of his career Kerouac carried the mantle, and the burden, of being its spokesman. Spending all his energy on being a public figure was toxic to this shy and sensitive observer of life in post World War II America, and he never wrote anything that compared after that.

Though I heard some noise about “beatniks,” and had seen Maynard G. Krebs on The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, I did not really care about who beatniks were or what their philosophy might be. I was seven when On the Road was published, but when I was 18 it was as if it had just been written for me. I dreamed of the romance of setting out on a wild adventure in a carload of crazy companeros (and some young women at various times along the way), transcontinental drives spanning the breadth of America, even turning South to Mexico where the holy spirits of the Maya and native Americans prowled the land and the dusty cities, and where beautiful mestizo girls were waiting.

These big plans devolved into a fairly pathetic trip with my then 15 year old brother who my parents recklessly permitted to fly from Chicago on this trip from Colorado through El Paso through the dry flatlands and then crossing the mountains to Mazatlan, where we were briefly detained by police for sleeping in my new 1971 Datsun 510 wagon until we paid them a few pesos ransom. We crossed Mexico, visited Guadalajara, went to some bullfights, took a dip into the tropics at Vera Cruz where we had the best orange juice ever, and turned around heading back home.

Later, living in Denver, I took lodging off Colfax Street, a skid row immortalized in other Kerouac writings, where in the morning I literally stepped over winos passed out in the apartment lobby. In my third-floor walkup, I sat writing something of my own, a novel consisting of a thinly disguised account of the 24 years in a fairly uneventful life.

Eventually I understood that half-assed efforts of aping a character out of Kerouac was, ultimately, unproductive, unauthentic, and pathetic, and I went about my life in the usual way: making stupid decisions, being pushed to and fro by fortune, by others to whom I yielded power, or by my own willfulness or stubbornness. Somehow, some good things came of this. Still, when I realized that this was the fiftieth anniversary of On the Road, I realized there was still something compelling about it. What was it?

I was (and am at heart) a midwesterner, rootless on the prairie. When I was a child in bed in the dark and silence, out of my window I could hear the moaning of traffic on the highways, the incessant motion across the middle of America. Here the land lay flat and the horizon, for Kerouac and for me, always brought out speculation, thought, and imagination. In such a moment Kerouac wrote tellingly that “in Iowa I know by now the children must be crying in the land where they let the children cry” and
. . . the evening star must be drooping and shedding her sparkler dims on the prairie, which is just before the coming of complete night that blesses the earth, darkens all rivers, cups the peaks and folds the final shore in, and nobody, nobody knows what’s going to happen to anybody besides the forlorn rags of growing old, I think of Dean Moriarty, I even think of Old Dean Moriarty the father we never found, I think of Dean Moriarty.
Kerouac’s quest is, therefore, a quest for the father, attempted in the company of the character Dean Moriarty (alter ego for Neal Cassady), as well as his other companions. I’m embarrassed that by now I did not appreciate in On the Road the obvious themes of the lost father, and the lost brothers, and the meaning of friendship between men. But recalling how densely packed the novel is with these themes, I now understand why I still admire Kerouac for pursuing his art and vision so passionately and truthfully.

The film Into the Wild recounts the life of Christopher McCandless, a Gen X’r two generations removed from Kerouac. Like Kerouac, McCandless pursued an adventure that perhaps also teaches about the changes in our society and its effect on men. McCandless disdained the values of society, particularly the status-seeking materialism associated with privileged men, and sought his own masculinity in a struggle against the forces of nature. In this quest, he met several men who were mentors to him: one for whom he worked in the Dakotas; another who was a hippie/dropout mentor in Colorado; and an older lonely “grandfather” in Arizona/New Mexico. He could only tolerate these relationships for short periods, and, after weeks or months, always moved on in pursuit of his Alaskan survival adventure, wherein he would face the forces of nature and survival naked: without knowledge, without help, without preparation, as if reborn in an even more hostile world than he was as an infant. McCandless, unfortunately, got probably more adventure than he bargained for, and had no opportunity to learn anything from his experience.

In his lonely pursuit of autonomy, even a grandiose confrontation with forces of nature, McCandless pursued self knowledge by isolation, by throwing himself back upon himself, in a vain attempt to be his own father. Kerouac, on the other hand, sought masculinity in comradeship, admiration, and companionship of other men.

Is it possible that Kerouac exhibits a sort of attachment and deference to the community of men that began to erode with the end of World War II? Is it possible that his expedition on the road was a swan song to, for instance, universal mobilization of men in a great cause; to hobo jungles, friendly wanderers, circuit-riding preachers, medicine hawkers; to lodges and fraternal orders; to lifelong friendships, trade union guilds, apprenticeships, and other institutions attaching men to one another and to society?

Is it possible that McCandless manifested a detachment and scorn for what others might offer? Is it possible that, because of injuries at the hands of the few men/mentors he had ever known, he lived in fear of other men for the rest of his young life? Is it possible that his ill-fated (and ultimately suicidal) trip into Alaska was, in fact, a suicide caused, in part, by the deep void in the heart of a young man with the soul of a lion?

Now question where that leaves some of us, boomers (there I said the dreaded word) born between 1922 and 1968? If the simplest explanation is most often the best first guess, it probably lies between these two extremes. When we gather, when we speak about our experiences in discovering ourselves as men, when we go to the wilderness either alone or with our brothers, we are behaving, in some ways, like each of these men. Unlike each of these men, both of whom came to unhappy ends, we have the power, and the privilege, to overcome isolation, apathy, greed, self-centeredness, materialism, soullessness, fear, if only we open ourselves to each other.

I say let’s do that, now.

Vaughn Clauson

The Joshua Project Rite-of-Passage (July 27 - August 3)

2008-07-21T16:59:00.000-07:00

The
Joshua Project
Summer 2008

Rite-of-Passage Encampment
(July 27-August 3)

held at Anita-Alta 4-H Outpost Camp, near Lenoir, NC

This encampment is specifically designed for young men to mark entry into manhood, and is open to young men (ages 13 to 19, with parental consent). The week will consists of community living in a natural environment, daily experiential curriculum into the four archetypes of mature masculinity (King, Warrior, Magician, Lover), drumming, art,
and culminating in a 24-hour solo Vision Fast, and welcome ritual by a community of men.

Cost for Eight-day camp-$730 registration due by July 15, participants limited
Final weekend, Fri eve - Sun 1pm (Aug 1-3), adult men-$150, registration due by July 25
Some scholarship money presently available

Lodging will be platform tents, provided, or bring your own. Also each person will need bedroll/sleeping bag
Needs lists sent after registration. Also transportation coordinated

Checks made payable to The Joshua Project and sent to 3214 Stoneybrook Rd.; Charlotte, NC 28205
Tax-deductible donations made to Triangle Men's Center - JP Scholarships (same address)
For more info phone Philip Loydpierson, Director @ 704-342-3456 or email ploydpierson@carolina.rr.com
Visit our new website @ http://www.joshua-project.us/

Mission:
The Joshua Project is dedicated to fostering soulful communities of men for the purpose of providing meaningful
rites-of passage experiences for boys coming into manhood and exploring the meaning of mature masculinity

Drum Building Workshop with Tom Harris

2008-07-21T16:57:00.000-07:00

Honey in the Heart Drum Company
Date: August 9 - 10, 2008
Raleigh, NC
Drum Building Workshop

Join Tom Harris for an exciting weekend of drum building. During this two day workshop, participants will be introduced to the joy of building a West African drum. All tools and materials are provided. Choose one of the following drums to build:

Ashiko - this Nigerian hand drum is a tapered cylinder with a goat skin across the large end. Dimensions are 12'” x 7" x 26". The drum shell is made from 18 wooden staves. The head is mounted using the Mali weave.

Dun Dun or Sangban - These Malinke drums form the bottom of the djembe ensemble. They are built Guinea style - Dun Duns are 15"x27", and Sangbans are 12"x22". They are constructed of 27 and 21 wooden staves, respectively. They have thick West African cow skins for heads and are played with a stick.

Djembe - The shells for this Malinke drum are from the Ivory Coast. Drum shells are imported, and participants re-finish them and mount the heads on themselves. New rings, rope and goat skins are provided.

This weekend workshop is intense and joyful. While Tom is able to share the experience and skill he has acquired from building over 1000 drums since 1996, each person is faced with a significant challenge to bring their first drum to completion. Most people finish the weekend feeling a deep sense of satisfaction while also feeling like they have finished the equivalent of a marathon. It is also a strong bonding experience for the participants who have shared this process.

Saturday

9:00 AM - 12:00 PM - Sand drum shells through 60, 100, 150 and 220 grit sandpaper, put three coats of finishing oil followed by several coats of paste wax.

1:00 PM - 4:00 PM (app) Wrap rings with fabric, tie cradle loops around rings, lace on skins, pre-tighten skins and level rings, shave heads, make tuning spikes.

Sunday

9:00 AM - 12:00 PM Pull vertical ropes tight, tie diamonds to tune the drum, re-shave head, add handle and strap.

Drum Order Form

Workshop Date: August 9 - 10, 2008, _____

Name________________________________________________________

Address______________________________________________________

Phone_______________________ Email____________________

Drum Type (except for djembe, indicate paduk (bright orange), purple heart, bloodwood, cherry or black walnut for wood)

Wood Type

Ashiko ________ $240 _____________

Super Dununba $475 _____________ (18”x36”)

Dununba _______ $395 _____________ (15 1/2” x27”)

Sangban _______ $375 _____________

Kenkini_________ $350 _____________

Djembe _______ $340

For more information, contact:

Tom Harris
5014 Lakemont Drive
Douglasville, GA 30135
cell – 770-843-3556
email tomharris57@comcast.net

Random notes to kick things off

2008-07-19T17:55:00.000-07:00

Welcome everyone to the new TMC blog.
I'm going to start off with a few random notes to get things started and hopefully there will be something you would like to comment on.

I have been listening to a lot of podcasts at work lately. One that I keep coming back to is the Bill Moyers "Journal" podcast of August 31, 2007 when Robert Bly was a guest. Bill asked Bly to read this poem:

Think in ways you have never thought before.
If a phone rings think of it as carrying a message
larger than anything you have ever heard
vaster than a hundred lines of Yates
Think that someone may bring a bear to your door
maybe wounded or deranged.
And think that a moose has risen out of the lake
and he is carrying on his antlers a child of your own
whom you have never seen.
When someone knocks on the door
think that he is about to give you something large
tell you, you are forgiven.
Or that it is not necessary to work all the time.
Or that it has been decided that if you lie down no one will die.

The image of being forgiven by a stranger for things he may no nothing about touches a tender part of me. As a father of a 6 and 4 year old, I beat myself up at times regarding my behavior with the kids. The men in my support group play the role of that man at the door - ready to forgive me.

John Lee, of Flying Boy fame, has recently released a recording of his poetry accompanied by pianist Gary Powell. It is titled Thunderstorm in Mentone. I listened, via iTunes, to samples of a number of tracks. It is very accessible. 'Conversational' seems like an appropriate description. There is something about John's gravely voice that is very soothing for me. Here is a snippet of "Holding On":

what holds on to me in winter
a poker perhaps to poke
to stir the fire
a pen that turns empty white paper
into a prayer for some company
every morning I sit down by the fire
I see the poker by my hand
the pen on the table
and outside, ...

and "Letters":

your eyes spoke your desire
and your scent said what my whole life longed for
as we lay there in half darkness
I understood prayer in a way I never had before

Speaking of John Lee, he will be celebrating the 15th annual Menton Men's Gathering this year on November 7 - 9 in Mentone Alabama. I went to this event in 2006. It was unforgettable. This year it will be Robert Bly, Malidoma Somé, PhD, River Guergerian and Vijay Director. The cost is $325. That is steep for most (I know it is for me), but the memories I have of it are motivating me to start saving. It fills up quick so you would want to register by around September. Here is a picture from 2006 of John Lee, Bly and Robert Moore.

That's it for now. See you all in cyberspace. Be well.
Ethan

Introduction To The Triangle Men's Center Blog

2008-07-15T16:21:00.000-07:00

The Mission -

The mission of the Triangle Men's Center is to provide a safe place in which men can support men in becoming themselves. We are committed to strengthening men's roles as friend, son, father, husband/partner and citizen. The Men's Center is committed to strengthening the individual, the family and the community.

The Vision -

The vision of the Triangle Men's Center is to create a vibrant and diverse culture of healthy men.

History of The Triangle Men's Center

The Triangle Men's Center (TMC), which began as the Raleigh Men's Center in 1986, is an all-volunteer service organization dedicated to promoting the wholeness and well-being of men. It grew out of a series of informal discussions culminating in two meetings at Raleigh's YMCA in November, 1986 to determine interest in a "men's center". The success of the Women's Center of Raleigh, and the lack of a comparable program for men as well as a growing national focus on men's issues, fueled this interest. Doug Lester, Fred Stephens, and Doug Jennette were at the first organizational meeting along with approximately 30 other men. Fred had experienced men's gatherings with Robert Bly in California, and offered a mytho-poetic perspective/experience to the meeting. Several men were interested in support groups, and others wanted to form an organization to address different needs of men in the community.

By early l987, the formal organization was underway with efforts toward incorporation, by-laws, and creation of a board of directors. Doug Jennette served as the first President of the TMC and participated in the bi-weekly discussion/programs held at the old United Way headquarters on Wake Forest Road in Raleigh, NC. Doug Lester and Doug Jennette attended a men's gathering in spring, 1987 and the Minnesota Men's Conference in fall, 1987 where they encountered Robert Bly, Michael Mead, and James Hillman. This led to the first major TMC event in the spring of 1988, an evening poetry reading at Meredith College and day-long men's gathering with Robert Bly at Camp Durant in Raleigh, with about 150 men attending.

The late 1980s into the mid-1990s saw TMC sponsor weekend retreats with leaders such as Michael Mead, Tom Daly, David Schiffman, and Robert Bly. Fred Stephens produced a number of week-long Southeastern Men's Conferences with leaders like Robert Bly, Michael Mead, James Hillman, Robert Moore, and John Stokes, which were independent from, but complemented TMC activities. TMC support groups grew in number, and monthly programs flourished. A Fall Feast retreat and Ritual Group were added later. In 1996, a North Carolina Annual Gathering of Men was started, co-sponsored with the Men's Council of the Triad.

The inspiration for the Annual Gathering of Men came from an Elders Group headed by Doug Lester. The idea was that the Triangle and Triad areas of NC had experienced men who could produce a weekend retreat with local talent for workshops, large group process, poetry, and ritual without importing big names from the national scene. The success of the Annual Gathering, held each year since 1996, demonstrates the accuracy of that initial assessment.